Thursday, November 29, 2007

A Funny Story

A funny story, maybe!

Recently I held a discussion and book signing at the Hopkinton public library in Hopkinton MA. During the question-and-answer segment of our discussion, one of the participants, the only person present with MS, asked a question beginning with the statement; “I’m amazed, and excited to know that after all that you have been through, you are now remarried. How did that happen, because as you said you are worse physically today than during your first marriage? And, what changed, I mean what was the turning point that allowed you to move forward and get remarried?”

Of course, I knew exactly what she meant, because at one time I had the very same concern with which she was referring. At the point that my wife first wanted to divorce, I had an inner dialogue that went something like this: O’kay Chris, you have what is now becoming severe MS, who’s going to want to marry someone with MS? No one is going to want to marry damaged goods. I am sure that I was not the first one .to ever have this inner dialogue. It’s a real fear.

I met my then wife to be, Jane, through an online dating service and she was totally aware of my disability. After we had gone on our first date I remember asking her, why would anyone get involved with damaged goods? Why would anyone purchase a vase with a crack in the bottom? Jane’s response was “maybe, I need one to hold my dried flowers”. All she wanted was “kindness and love” no anger, just kindness and love. It helps that we both have the same goofy sense of humor. We laugh and laugh together and at one another all the time. Sure, I have slipped ups, get frustrated and angry, the difference is that I have written, re-written, read and re-read. my book so many times that when I do begin to slip-up it’s so obvious that I can’t help but catch myself. And let’s not forget, Jane has read the book so when I slip up she’s quick to point out “Chris, I think you need to revisit page 52 “and we have a good chuckle. Remember life is too short, you choose whether to smile or argue.. We were married a year later and life is fantastic. Jane is the most wonderful, loving and caring person that I had ever known. If I had listened to my inner dialogue, I would never have met my wife, Jane, the woman of my dreams. Never give up.

God bless,
Chris

Accelerated Cure Newsletter

Life Interrupted Addresses Relationship Issues and MS
Submitted by Chris Ratliff on Mon, 2007-11-19 08:02.

While a freshman at Johnson State College in Vermont, Chris Tatevosian was diagnosed with MS. He graduated in 1983 with a Bachelor of Science in Ecology and a minor in Chemistry. For seven years, he was an analytical chemical technician before becoming an occupational safety coordinator/consultant.

“My disease was relapsing remitting up until 1990,” Chris says. “That was the year I began dating the woman who would eventually become my wife. Everything was tremendous until I suffered a major exacerbation in May 1993, at which time I became disabled and unable to work. After several difficult years, we were divorced. It was one of the darkest times of my life.”

In his recently published book, Life Interrupted, It's Not All About Me, Chris shares the details of his life with MS before, during, and after his first marriage. This candid memoir examines the ways in which the author’s destructive attitude and inability to cope cost him his marriage. Chris hopes his story might help others make more of an effort to communicate effectively with their loved ones and not allow disability and low self-worth to destroy their relationships. Chris also writes about his faith in God, his experiences with bee venom therapy, and his fiancĂ©e, Jane, to whom he is now married.
Life Interrupted: It's Not All About Me, is self-published and available at booksurge.com and Amazon.com.

REFERENC LISTED BELOW:
Did you see the write up at Accelerated Cure? Click the link:

http://www.acceleratedcure.org:8080/node/2970

Sincerely Yours,Christine RatliffEditor, MSFocusThe Multiple Sclerosis Foundation 6350 N. Andrews AvenueFort Lauderdale, FL 33309954-776-6805888-MSFOCUS